=)

hello everyone! feel free to leave a comment on my page or correct my blog.. i am just new in blogging so I don't know yet the right draft.. but i guess blogs can be an online diary (that's what i am doing now).. thanks everyone!

but i can't update my blog as much as i want to because i am busy with my studies.. anyways, thanks still for reading my posts... =) God bless us all! =)

the only constant thing in the world is change

Ever since, i have been so nice with people around me that i didn't notice they're already taking advantage on me..most of the times i ignore that thought..... i learned to take good care of other people that i forgot to love myself first... i lost myself, i am emotionally drained...

Well sorry to my friends if i am not answering their messages and calls, i just want peace of mind as of the moment... 

Lastly, i want to go to places where nobody knows me.. where i can be so free and no worries in mind... Thinking nobody but myself.. I need to learn to love myself again and figure out who really am and what i want in life... i need to build myself again..this time it's all bout me!! 

I want my old self to come back; a happy go lucky girl, worry free and full of confidence.. i wish i'd be much happier this time! 

I will change myself for the good..it's not being selfish, it is learning to love myself first before loving other people..  =)

=((

..................for today!!

i need someone to talk to!! =(
but nobody seems to care... *sigh*

what's your dream??

when i was young, i thought of becoming a veterinarian....as i love animals so much...of course there are some exceptions (especially snakes)... i dreamed of having a clinic where i can take good care some cute animals like cats, birds, dogs, fishes, and hamsters..... i'm so curious how animals exist here on earth, the way they communicate with mother nature and how they interact with one another....

but destiny didn't allowed me to take up veterinary medicine... i ended up studying Bachelor of Science in Civil Engineering... asking me why such course? because the university is not that far from our house and it's the only course i know in engineering..(hence the university is known for the best civil engineering school in our province).. ohoo!! luckily i've got the bachelor's degree after studying for five years... five years of pain, dealing with nose bleeding Mathematics and numbers,,haha XD (don't wonder if my english is so bad..LOL)

now, i am having my review to get my license as a civil engineer.. i failed once but it didn't stop me from trying again.. i hope this time i got it right!! cross fingers =)

but i keep on asking myself, is this really what i want? to become a civil engineer?? build houses, buildings, bridges, roads, etc.. am i happy where i am now?? 

PAUSE.  BREATH. THINK.

it's not easy..in fact it gave me a lot of headaches, frustrations and tears... and i'm still into it...im imprisoned with it.. and the only way to be free from it is to get my license as soon as possible!! 

on the positive side, getting my license is the stepping stone to reach my real dreams in life... civil engineers are one of the most highest paid professions on earth.. oh my! lots of money! yepey! XD money talk? yes! who doesn't want to get rich?? after being a civil engineer,get a job, paid, i'll have my own business and be one of the richest people ever living on earth! impossible? i don't think so! most of the successful businessmen and millionaire's came from scratches..be inspired by this:

"IT'S NOT THE BEST MAN WHO NORMALLY MADE IT BUT IT IS THE MAN WHO WILL IT THE MOST."

yes true! and that keeps me from moving on... life can be so hard sometimes but if we learn to fight its battle surely we will reach success! 

but ever wonder why i wanna be a billionaire so freakin' bad?? XD

.....hmmmm...i want branded bags, shoes, cars, all the splendors here on earth!! you too, right??

but i'm not such a selfish young lady...those things won't make me happy!! 

i came from a poor family...i've experienced having nothing even toys in my childhood years...my mom was just a plain housewife and my dad was a farmer (well they're both farmers)... my family lived in a very small nipa house (only in the Philippines)...my mom can't even afford to buy me and my sister a pair of shoes or dress...money was so hard that time...and still lots of difficult experiences (will take me long to write them all)..luckily, through the help of my aunt, she saved us from poverty.. now, my dad is managing a business which my aunt own.. 

through hardships and trials in life, i've learned a lot of things.. now, why i wanna be a billionaire? it's because i want to change my country and eventually the world... i wanna feed the hungry...i don't want to see people crying in pain because they've got nothing to eat...i don't want to see children begging in streets..you see my country is in poverty and it's tearing my heart...

my mom taught me one thing;what you have may it small or big, learn to share it with other people... i always do Nay! =)

but couldn't it be happier if i could share my richness to people when i become successful someday?? when i have more, i could share a lot! to change lives of so many person means a lot to me!! 

i don't see myself as a good person or i wrote this things for you to appreciate me, but i am a person who wants everyone to see that life is not just about ourselves...to achieve dreams isn't worthy at all if we don't know how to share it with other people....selfish ambitions are nothing...

....and may i ask you??

WHAT'S YOUR DREAM??

....are you willing to share it when you finally reached it someday?? =)

miles away

it was last year, month of April when i accidentally knew him online.. a guy from a different part of the world; handsome, jaw dropping smile..but it wasn't his looks that caught my heart but it was his daughter's baby pictures... at first i was kinda surprise when i've found out that an early age he already have a baby but for the first time i saw them online, they both melted my heart.... aaw so cute to see them both smiling at me! =)

....by that, i see some sense of responsibility he already been facing at an early age..good thing he loves his baby so much!

our relationship grown deeper from friendship into something special, every night we were chatting and sometimes been sending each other some messages on our phones: JAG ÄLSKAR DIG, MAHAL KITA! <3  ... everything was so perfect! he loves me, i love him! but the sad thing is the DISTANCE!

5739.65 miles away from Philippines =(

i hate the distance!!... i can't see him everyday, i cant hold his hands and can't be with him and his daughter.. fate sometimes can be so playful!

but i do believe our relationship will workout..
i still believe in the power of love (wow!!).. i spent sleepless nights talking to him, buying time just to see his smile.. he completes my day!
i've fallen even more inlove with him.. =)

we argue sometimes but that won't stop the love! but distance plays the biggest role in the relationship..it's always been an issue.. =(

until in the month of November 2011 he decided to stop everything..he told me he was so uncertain..he was confused.. i don't understand why he said those things when i knew he loves me..then he explained everything..so i got it! that's it, end of the fairytale!! my heart was totally broken at that moment! THIS LONG DISTANCE IS REALLY KILLING ME!!

well, from being lovers back from being friends again.. he always say we'll never know what will happen in the future! he was right, the distance is the problem, but who knows in the future? maybe it will be me and him.. will still enjoy each other as friends... he can hang out with so many girls he likes and i can have so many boys as much as i want to =p it's not that hard to be friends with the one u love and it's the easiest way to have them around.. of course, there is some little changes because he can't tell me anymore the sweet words that i wanna hear, but at least i still have him!! =))

LOOKING ON THE BRIGHTER SIDE OF LIFE! =))

this is me =)

a silent type of person.. likes to listen than talk.. but i'm fun to be with specially when i get to know the person very well and becomes my very close friend.. my friends say i'm kinda crazy and silly ;p but really i'm kinda silent at times because i have this attitude that i'm tired of speaking... (maybe i'm not good with public relations) no wonder all my friends are all from school not in our neighborhood :p

what else to describe about myself? well, i don't know!!

oops! i almost forgot! my dream is to become a civil engineer/interior designer/architect.. i'm on my way of becoming a civil engineer this year! yepey! :) next is interior design..oops! am i sure? yes! i like buildings and houses, colors and designs..my time stops when i see magazines of houses and buildings.. don't ever disturb me when i'm reading one! :p

well, that's all! =) 

i'm living my life to the fullest!

enjoy everything while we're still alive... =D